laughter

This is courtesy of Snakepunch. Please follow this link. I laughed so hard that I sharted. Please do yourself a favour and check out a really funny top 10. For some reason the more seriously Black Mettlers want us to take them, the more hysterical they get.

Dishes

I have so many dishes to wash right now. Fuck, I hate doing dishes. As a kid I grew up with a dishwasher and I guess it spoiled me, because I never had to wash a single plate. Now that I'm out on my own, the mutherfuckers pile up like lice on a trailer park kid. I used to have someone that washed them all the time, and by god I think I'll need to actually pay for a replacement soon. I even thought about buying one of those counter-top washers for $300, but for some reason I just never do.

Dishes are such a thorn in my side. No matter how many you wash they just keep coming back; almost like a bad case of herpes. Such a scourge. Just go away dishes, just go away.

Listen..

I don't usually post about new music because everyone else does....and they usually know more than me. But, I'm really lovin' this new Beanie Sigel track called Feel It In The Air, and his new album entitled The B Coming is coming out 3/29. I might even buy it. Listen here. Keep an eye on MuchMusic, and if you do you're bound to see the video, definitely worth a look.

This is also kinda cool because he is currently serving time in jail and he's releasing his new album anyway. Not that being in jail is cool, just the venture as a whole.

Rattlesnake

I'm unsatisfied with my name. I'm thinking about legally changing my name to Rattlesnake. Rattlesnake Mark Walter Cornfield. Mainly because it sounds tough, but also because I think it has a nice ring to it.

Borrowed movie idea

It isn't just the monkey that sets Laughing My Sphincter Off apart from other cancer memoirs, it's also my skewed sense of humor. The one-two punch of the monkey's low-down physical commentary coupled with my friskiness of mind give the viewer a unique look inside the soul of a person battling colorectal cancer.
see more here

weirdness

Two super weird things happened at work today, one to me and one to Jim.

First, theres always one 50 year old-i know everything-no time for you asshole in every office, and its always funny to see him compromised. Today Jim was pinching a loaf when this asshole storms into the bathroom, sits down, and starts machine gun blasting the water in the adjacent stall. However, fright turned to hilarity when this jerk's celly rings and he actually picks it up! Jim hears him go "oh shit!" then "ughhhh hello?"....this guy was blasting turds and grunting and taking a work call. At one point he goes "I'm kinda tied up right now". Wow. Jim had to leave ASAP because he was crying laughing.

Later I had to move my car to let some big truck into the parking lot and on the way out these 2 middle age women I work with were joking that I was going to puff smokes with them. We all walk out together and I tell them I wanna smoke a Capitan Black cigar. Then they start asking me "what else do you smoke?". I just kept quiet; but they wouldn't let it go, finally I just go "crack, I smoke crack". Obviously joking. Then out of left, the younger more likely to party one goes "I just put it up my nose". So I'm all "you put crack in your nose?" She goes "no I mean coke". My jaw drops, but I hold my own and say "lets go bump some rails". Her response "anytime". I felt like I was on fuckin coke after that. Was she serious??

Weirdness.

Cock-lemia...

So I haven't posted in 45 years......no big deal. Had a super-good Friday night. Webby, Pierre, Richardson, Sie, Brandos, Marcus, Millsy, the list goes on.....I think we partied down pretty hard. Thanks to Ben for the hospitality, Webby for the idea, and Brandos for puking 5 times. Notice how it was all dudes on the list?? Oh well, I did talk to one girl...hahahaha. Webby's ex, the one I pretty much ultra-dissed by accident. Foot out of mouth......Anyway, me and the rock and roll nigga talked Bloc Party, me and Marcus talked steak, Sie farted on me, Brandos abstained from certain festivities, and Mike never did get his "chirri oil", but god damn it was good times.
I've been listening to the new Mario album and I know that makes me a big pussy, but hopefully I'll be more sensitive as a result, plus that Let Me Love You is so catchy.....holla atcha boy.